"You All Meet in a Tavern"

From the vast frozen plains of Canada and the band Scythia comes this highly entertaining look at one of the standard fantasy adventuring tropes.



Random Encounters At the Bear Claw Tavern

Roll d6:

1) Two rough-looking patrons arm-wrestle. The winner will accept any challenges for a 5CP bet.

2) A distinguished-looking wizard serenely reads from a small tome. He will ignore most attempts at interaction, but persistent annoyance may result in a retaliatory zap (lose 1 HP).

3) A love triangle fluctuates among a male patron, a female patron, and a barmaid - at any point, one might start flirting with a PC to make the other two jealous.

4) The tavern's owner displays its namesake, a seemingly authentic bear claw far bigger than it should be.

5) A flabby gnome wanders around trying to steal food and drink from the other patrons. If encouraged, he can consume a surprising amount of drink.

6) Minstrels sing of heroes and legends.

Monstrous Mushroom Kingdom Monday - The Finale

Art by JoshSummana

C'mon, was this really going to end any other way?

Bowser, the King Koopa: A massively over-sized Koopa warrior, Bowser claims kingship over the Mushroom Kingdom, and controls a vast army of Koopas, Goombas, and other creatures to make the claim stick. He's also not above kidnapping the family of the previous rulers to magnify his claim.

Art by Davidleonluis

Encountered: 1
Alignment: Evil
Size: Large
Movement: 30
Dexterity: 7
Armor Class: 3 (16)
Hit Dice: 8
Attacks: 3 (bite/claw/jump)
Damage: 2d8/1d6/1d20
Saving Throw: 13
Morale: 7
Experience Points: 1000
Treasure Class: Y
Special: Once per turn, Bowser can breathe a Fireball as an 8th-level magician.

Monstrous Mushroom Kingdom Monday - Part The Third

In addition to the standard flora and fauna of the Mushroom Kingdom, there are a great many artificial creatures that pose a threat to any wandering adventurers. Oftentimes their origin is unknown, and any intelligence they might have possessed has long been worn away by time.

Chain Chomp: A dense, metal ball with a toothy mouth at the end of a chain, which is typically secured to a wall or post. Often used as guardians, and therefore found just outside structures of strategic or financial importance.

Art by darkly-shaded-shadow

Encountered: 1-2
Alignment: Chaotic
Size: Small
Movement: 0 (See Special)
Dexterity: 10
Armor Class: 3 (16)
Hit Dice: 3
Attacks: 1 (bite)
Damage: 1d8
Saving Throw: 15
Morale: 13
Experience Points: 35
Treasure Class: M
Special: After three rounds, roll a d6 each round. On a 1, the chain breaks and the Chain Chomp gains MV 60.

Bob-omb: A metallic ball on mechanical legs, which it uses to walk up to its target before exploding. The turn before the explosion, it throws several harmless sparks from its top.

Art by Deimos-Remus

Encountered: 1 (1d4)
Alignment: Neutral
Size: Small
Movement: 40
Dexterity: 8
Armor Class: 3 (16)
Hit Dice: 2
Attacks: 1 (explode)
Damage: 3d6
Saving Throw: 16
Morale: 10
Experience Points: 24
Treasure Class: M
Special: If the Bob-omb is reduced to 0HP before setting itself off, it explodes for 2d6 damage to whatever struck the killing blow.

Thwomp: An enormous, spiky block of living stone that camouflages itself against stone ceilings, then drops on the unwary.

Art by BrendanCorris

Encountered: 1 (1d4)
Alignment: Chaotic
Size: Large
Movement: 10
Dexterity: 9
Armor Class: 5 (14)
Hit Dice: 4
Attacks: 1 (smash)
Damage: 1d12
Saving Throw: 15
Morale: 11
Experience Points: 75
Treasure Class: M

Monstrous Mushroom Kingdom Monday - Part II

Nearly as ubiquitous in the Mushroom Kingdom as Koopas and Goombas are the Piranha Plants. These carnivorous plants range in size from the height of a man to the height of a tree, and while (usually) immobile can reach a surprising distance. Each individual plant consists of one toothy pod on a stalk, although groups of Piranha Plants have been found growing in tangled clumps.

Art by RottaC

Encountered: 1 (1d4)
Alignment: Chaotic
Size: Medium/Large
Movement: 0
Dexterity: 7
Armor Class: 8 (11)
Hit Dice: 2
Attacks: 1 (bite)
Damage: 1d6
Saving Throw: 16
Morale: 12
Experience Points: 24
Treasure Class: M
Special: Once per turn, the Piranha Plant can shoot a Fireball as a 3rd-level magician.

The Return of Monstrous Monday - Mushroom Kingdom Edition

Some of you may recall that last year about this time there was a big blogfest organized by Tim Brannan to post a bunch of monsters on October 29, as well as on the Mondays leading up to that date. Well, Tim's too busy to host a sequel this year, but when I came up with the idea to do Mushroom Kingdom Monsters I couldn't pass it up.

Art Via AdamsPinto

The genesis of this idea was a thread on RPG.Net titled "Hyboria + Mushroom Kingdom = IT WON'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"  True to the title, the idea has stuck with me ever since, occasionally inflamed by finding a neat piece of artwork to go with it. All sorts of different rulesets and play-styles have been suggested - there's a particularly nice Savage Worlds netbook by Jeremy Puckett that plays things fairly straight, for example - but the mode that most interests me is the slightly gritty, D&Dified sword-and-sorcery take on it. What, after all, is the difference between Mario and John Carter except that one landed on Barsoom and the other in the Mushroom Kingdom?

OK, that might be a bit of a stretch. Still, the setting has the idea of extra-dimensional visitors built right into it, and they might as well be a motley band of fighters, barbarians, and wizards as a family of ethnic handymen. Either way, they're going to need something to fight, which brings us back to Monstrous Mondays. Each Monday this month I plan to stat up a few iconic Mushroom Kingdom Monsters for Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperboria, that being the particular flavor of OSR I think fits this take on the setting best.

To begin, then, we'll start with the Goomba and the Koopa - not very impressive individually, to be sure, but a hoard of them is perhaps a different matter.

Goomba: An intelligent, ambulatory fungus at home in many environments, from deep caverns to scorching deserts.

Art Via D-MAC

Encountered: 1d4 (1d6+3)
Alignment: Neutral
Size: Small
Move ment: 10
Dexterity: 5
Armor Class: 10 (9)
Hit Dice: 1
Attacks: 1 (bite)
Damage: 1d6
Saving Throw: 16
Morale: 11
Experience Points: 10
Treasure Class: M
Special: 1-in-12 chance per encounter that one Goomba will be piloting a Goomba Shoe (see below).

Koopa: This humanoid turtle is often found serving as the main trooper in the armies of the King Koopa.

Encountered: 1d4 (1d8)
Alignment: Neutral
Size: Medium
Movement: 30 (Swim 20)
Dexterity: 9
Armor Class: 6 (13)
Hit Dice: 2
Attacks: 2 (bite/claw)
Damage: 1d6/2d4
Saving Throw: 16
Morale: 8
Experience Points: 20
Treasure Class: M
Special: When reduced to 50% Hit Points, the Koopa must pass a morale check or retreat into his shell for 2d6 rounds. Once killed, the Koopa's shell can be fashioned into a suit of AC 7 (12) armor or an AC -1 (+1) shield.

Goomba Shoe: This strange device of unknown origin resembles nothing so much as a giant green boot with a windup key. If piloted by a Small or Medium creature, it provides an AC of 8 (11) and a 1d8 Jumping attack within their standard movement range. All known examples were originally discovered being piloted by Goombas - where they got them from remains a mystery.

Transmission Resumed

You know, of course, about the Suppressed Transmission.

But just in case this is the first you've heard of it, I shall Illuminate you. Back in 1998, Kenneth Hite, an all-around expert on conspiracy theory, Lovecraftania, and High Weirdness of all varieties, was given a column in Steve Jackson Games' Pyramid magazine for the purpose of writing about, well, conspiracy theory, Lovecraftania, and High Weirdness of all varieties. The column, Suppressed Transmission, became wildly popular, and a fraction of the columns were collected, annotated by Ken, and published in two highly-recommended collections.

Unfortunately, those collections represent the only currently available examples of the Transmissions, and official word is that further collections are not forth-coming (this based of the sales of the PDF versions of the books to date, hint hint), at least not this year. There is, however, another source for those desperate for a semi-regular, bite-sized pieces of weird brilliance - for the past few months, Pelgrane Press has been publishing articles by Ken under the precise, if prosaic, name of Ken Writes About Stuff - said Stuff consisting largely of (all together now) conspiracy theory, Lovecraftania, and High Weirdness of all varieties.

Now, I don't want to give anybody the wrong idea - despite my choice of post titles, there's no official continuity between the two projects. And indeed, there are a few significant differences - most striking, if not especially surprising, is the occasional reference to the GUMSHOE system rules, especially in the monster-centric ones. Lovecraftian monsters, of course - the one of these that I've read is "Hideous Creatures: Deep Ones", and a significant portion of the document is spent showing various ways that different skills could be used to detect Deep One activity. The ideas for giving different Deep Ones a variety of powers and motifs also tend towards the stat-specific, although they're quite useful apart from the system as well. Of course, there's plenty of ideas that aren't system-specific, too - the "world tour" of fish-men myths given a Lovecraftian slant felt especially close to the spirit of the Transmission.

The other KWAS that I've read thus far, "Die Glocke", is a much better example of the effect - Ken has himself described it as "essentially a double-length* "Suppressed Transmission" on" a lost (if it ever existed, which is in considerable doubt) Nazi science experiment. What, exactly, it might have been - options range from a nuclear testing device to a time machine - and where, exactly, it may have ended up is investigated in the typically far-ranging manner, with the system intruding only in the last few paragraphs which custom-fit the ideas into the various GUMSHOE settings.

Much like its Suppressed predecessor, the various KWAS installments cover a wide range of subjects - the "Hideous Creatures" sub-series is the most frequently recurring element, with articles covering not only Deep Ones but also Shoggoths, Ghouls, Mi-Go, and the Hounds of Tindalos - and that's just the ones that have been published or announced. There's very GUMSHOE-centric ones, under the "Zoom" sub-title (Martial Arts or Mind Control, anyone?), and more setting-heavy ones like the newly available "Moon Dust Men", which looks like it'll be all about the Cold War, UFOs, conspiracies, and the secret veil between the mundane and the fantastic.

A typical Ken Hite product, in other words.

BREAKING NEWS: Just before posting this, I have discovered that the entire first year's worth of Ken Writes About Stuff - including the ones yet to be published - is available as part of this week's Bundle of Holding collection. Ordinarily I would say that the ability to pick and choose the most interesting articles is, for a collection like this, an improvement over the subscription model. Given the Bundle's set-your-own price methodology, however, this week may present an opportunity to check out the whole range at a bargain price.


*He's being a bit modest here - the average Transmission takes up about three pages in the PDF collections, while the KWAS articles are 10 - 11 - counting the cover and title page, of course.

Start Your Month Off Right

. . . with a selection of fantastic architectural expansions from the Schusev State Museum of Architecture, discovered via Subterranean Design: